Everything I Know is Wrong

Sometimes I think I'm a knowledgeable person. It's at these times I'm often proven wrong and/or shown the errors of my ways.

For example, the other day Thurman and I were discussing the importance of drinking water. I wanted to emphasize that it was important for him to do so, especially since he was active at his basketball camp and sweating a lot. So, I told him that adults are supposed to drink eight 8-oz. glasses of water a day; so commonly referred to in my youth I thought it was the 12th commandment or something. Well, apparently, it's not.

The shock of this still reverberates through me. What else am I wrong about? I'm now in a constant state of self-doubt (thanks, Carma).

I mean, I am the guy that for awhile thought David Spade and Dana Carvey were the same person.

I'm also the person who didn't eat Mac & Cheese for 14 years because I thought it had onions in it.

Last week, my sister Hillary had a baby and named it Rowan. I was paralyzed with doubt, not remembering if the baby was a boy or a girl. (It's a girl!) Some uncle I am.

I'm not always wrong though. It would almost be easier if I were, then I would just assume that whatever I chose would be wrong. Very defeatist, I know, but at least it's predictable. But over the years I've usually been right about things, but wrong often enough to keep a bit of continual doubt. I just really hate it when I'm wrong about the big things, or the expensive things.

Other things I've been wrong about:

• Signing a two-year lease was a good idea
• Trying to sell a house FSBO saves money
• Cyndi Lauper sang "Voices Carry"
• A reservation guarantees you a moving truck
• Downhill skiing is fun
• The market research job sounds more exciting
• I can handle a Meta-Analysis (statistics) course
• The burrito's been frozen, it should still taste fine
• I can jump off this tower
• We should get a dog
• We should get a cat
• We should get two cats
• I'll finish (start?) my thesis
• No, honey. I don't think you need stitches
• The snooze button should never be used
• Accounting won't be that difficult
• Going to a chiropractor will help

So, yeah. I guess when I want to be humbled, I've got a nice list to help out with that. On the flip side, at least I know I've been right about a few things. The really important ones, anyway. Like loving my wife. My kids. Joining the Church. Oo! And getting an extended warranty on the Pontiac.

At least if I'm wrong again, I know my loving wife will be around to help correct me.