Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Duck: A History


The long promised, yet unheralded blog about the duck is finally here. No ribbon cuttings, no parades, no fireworks, please. Any carrying on is done at your own risk.

Once upon a time, there was a boy and his duck. Actually, it started off with just the boy, who happened to like Donald Duck. And be in 4-H (the boy, not Donald).

When I was 13, I wrote an essay on "A Person I Admire" about Donald Duck, and did a reading of it for the 4-H Freeborn County talent show (which was innocently called "Share the Fun"). (Seriously, I just found the essay. It's quite bad.) Needless to say, all I received was the encouragement of my mother and a few polite nods. Undaunted by failure (much like Donald himself), the next year I performed "Sick", a Shel Silverstein poem from Where the Sidewalk Ends, complete with bathrobe and slippers. I must have been encouraged by a few stray chuckles in the crowd, because I wanted to get in the talent show again the next year (1988).

As probably described in another post on this blog, I started talking in a duck-sounding voice sometime in my early teens, mostly as a way to make my poor family members forget that they were upset with me. So, I developed a voice, but didn't have an outlet for it. The details here are a little fuzzy in my mind, I seem to recall being invited to share a talent at a Christmas event for the Sons of Norway...though I'm not quite sure if it actually happened or not (according to an article below, it did). But theoretically that event inspired me to want to find a duck puppet to at least create an act to perform. I'm assuming I had the 4-H talent show in mind as I did so.



I don't remember much about the talent show itself. I remember one of my friends at the time, Jacob Roth, performing in a skit called "Watching All the Girls Go By". I remember that it was held at the high school auditorium, which to me at the time seemed enormous. I remember having to choose a name for my act, which was difficult, and so I finally went with "Nothing Special." (Ah, always self-depreciating, aren't I?) I have no recollection of knowing there were judges, or even a prize for winning. I don't even remember being told that I had won. But apparently I did.


I do vaguely remember going to the Minnesota State Fair that summer, but can't remember any specifics about the performance or how well (or not) it was received. I do remember seeing the sculptures made out of butter though. Quite disturbing.


I performed the duck skit for my 8th grade talent show as well that spring, which seemed to grant me a little bit of celebrity status among my own classmates. (Which at the time, being a scrawny and geeky kid, I needed).

My big launch into stardom (by Albert Lea standards, anyway) really occurred the next year (1989) when I performed in the high school talent show, called "Tiger's Roar" (yes, our mascot was a tiger). Tiger's Roar actually included three separate performances, one for the 9th and 10th graders, one for the 11th and 12th graders (both during the school day), and one open to the nominal-fee paying public. By then, they thought I was pretty good I guess, because I began to get invited to perform at different events in town.

The next year I did Tiger's Roar again, which in my opinion was the lamest performance ever. I think I tried to build a sketch around the big drive to send cookies to soldiers in the Persian Gulf, and the duck wanted some of those cookies or something. Yeah, pretty lame.

However, that didn't stop me from being "recruited" by one of the Ag teachers (yes, Agriculture. It's Minnesota, what can I say?) to join FFA (yep, Future Farmers of America- despite the fact I lived in town, had no livestock, and no desire to be a farmer) and participate in the FFA talent show. 

Well, I did. I won the regional talent show and advanced to the State. I think it was held at the University of Minnesota campus, I don't remember much other than getting to stay in a hotel room and wandering around a lot. I do remember being slightly nervous, at the state level there were some clearly talented people. 

I ended up placing second, and the top two performers went on to participate at the national FFA convention. I'm including the introduction of the text from the newspaper article here (rather than strain your eyes too badly).

"ALBERT LEA- When the lights are dimmed and a hush descends upon the audience of 23,000 at the world's largest annual youth conference this month, a local FFA member will share the spotlight in a performance that will provide memories which will last a lifetime. 

Greg Lincoln, of Albert Lea, will participate in the National FFA Talent Program at the 63rd National FFA  Convention, November 8-10 in Kansas City, MO.  He is a member of the Albert Lea FFA Chapter.  Lincoln, who does a ventriloquism act, placed 2nd at the Minnesota State FFA convention and applied for nationals. "

I went and performed several times, including in a mall, at a luncheon, and on the big stage with a very large audience (still the biggest in my life so far).

Around the same time (1990-91?) another article featuring me appeared in the paper (ah, the good old Albert Lea Tribune).  (Transcriber's note:  Brace yourself - this is a cheesy one!)


ALBERT LEA -- Once upon a time, (three years ago to be exact) a duck was born.  Ducky is white, with a bright orange beak, and sports a clip-on bow tie at festive events.  He speaks a duck language, of course, English with a strong accent.  All of this is perfectly ducky to Greg Lincoln, his ventriloquist. 

Speaking through the right side of his mouth, in "an unexplainable" style, Lincoln created a comical voice.  At family occasions, "whenever something funny seemed appropriate, I'd say it in duck and it would crack them (the family) up," Lincoln said.  "I liked it.  I thought it was funny." 

Ducky emerged soon afterward.  After being asked to perform a comedy routine at the Sons of Norway Christmas party, Lincoln went in search of a puppet with which to work.  A shopping trip to Northbridge Mall found Ducky. 

That first performance was successful for both Lincoln and Ducky, and word of duck spread quickly.  More and more clubs started asking Lincoln to perform for their organizations.  Ducky's appearances include the seventh-grade orientation, 4-H, swing choir, and Albert Lea High School's Tiger's Roar. 

Lincoln makes developing a routine for all the different groups sound easy.  Preparation for performing is usually pretty minimal for Lincoln.  

"Sometimes I like to run through it (the routine), just to make sure I have it pat -- which is never," Lincoln said. 

"Everything pretty much depends on the duck,"  Lincoln claims.  "Basically, I just think of a major theme and make up from there.  It depends on the audience's reaction.  I like audience participation.  That way you're not just watching, you're part of the show."  

"If they really get into it, it's a lot more fun for me and the audience," Lincoln said. 

Lincoln said he enjoyed performing for the Tiger's Roar last  year because of the good reaction that he received from the crowd.  "It was really excellent.  I really got the seniors going (and actively participating)," he added. 

Ducky and Lincoln are planning to show up for Tiger's Roar again this year, performing their comedy act.  In addition, Lincoln is continuing to appear for local organizations.  

"If people keep asking me, I guess I will," he said.  (end of article)

And so I did. Interest eventually waned, on the part of the community and myself. I did Tiger's Roar my junior year (duck supposedly playing 'Great Balls of Fire' on the piano), but not my senior year. (Which may have been the reason I received an A- instead of my usual A in choir. The choir director, Mr. Iverson, was in charge of Tiger's Roar and wasn't happy with my decision to not participate.)

After high school, the duck's activities have been few and far between (some of those already previously blogged about). Now, he's mostly just something for family gatherings and other (usually spontaneous) functions. (See Nico's 3rd birthday, below. Duck is complete with Super Duck cape)


My boys do enjoy it when he comes out to visit though. Maybe, just maybe, one of them will learn to do a duck voice.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

(By Thurman Lincoln, age 8)

I would like to be an inventor when I grow up. First, I would like to be this because I am smart and intelligent. Second because I will make lots of money. Third, because this job uses your brain a lot. Fourth, because I think it will be cool. Fifth, because I would build robots that play with me and stuff like that. Last, I would live in a big white house in Utah so I can put all my robots in it. These are some reasons why I would like to be this.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Hotel life

Living in a hotel requires a few adjustments. A lot of them are easy to adjust to, at least in the short term. It's nice to have clean towels and your bed made every day.

***

This particular stay (at the Hilton Atlanta) I got upgraded to the "Executive Floor". I think this is just a euphemism for "you get to be at the top of the hotel and have longer elevator rides." I also get access to the "Executive Lounge" which has TVs and serves and afternoon snack, neither of which I can condemn.

And actually, the elevator rides are kind of nice if you get an elevator with windows.

***

Hotel beds have way too many pillows. And yet, despite the number of pillows to choose from, I can never find one I really like. In frustration, I threw one to the floor on the opposite side of the bed after deciding it didn't meet my needs. As I did so, all of a sudden this weird light came on in my previously very dark room. It kind of freaked me out for a bit, but then it turned off again.

Curious, I got out of bed to investigate. As I put my feet on the floor, the light appeared on my side of the bed. Apparently, there are little lights installed in the bedside stands that are motion sensitive. So, if you need to get up in the middle of the night, a relatively unobtrusive light comes on automatically to help you out. Genius.

***

I usually only go to two conferences a year. Carma jokes that I treat them like vacations. Which they kind of are, in a sense. I mean, I still go to sessions and stuff, and try to gain insight and knowledge. But I don't try to do something every minute of the day while I'm there. I sleep extra. I read books, watch movies. I explore the town a bit. And I go to restaurants. Hmmm...it does sound kind of like a cruise or something, doesn't it?

***

Room service is a rip off. Even if it's not my money I'm spending, I avoid it like the plague.

Case in point: here, I can get an all-you-can eat breakfast buffet, including drinks for $20 in the restaurant. Not exactly cheap, I know.

However, if I ordered Room Service, for $20 you get the "American breakfast", which is eggs, toast, sausage/bacon, and potatoes. The juice will cost you $6 extra (no refills), and fruit is another $8.

On top of that, they charge you a $4 in-room dining charge, plus a 21% service fee. Plus tax.

So, with tax and tip downstairs I pay $24-25. To eat breakfast in my pajamas (or lack thereof) I would pay $46 to get less. Yeah, I think it's worth $20 to put on my clothes and go get my own food. Even if it is a long elevator ride.