Friday, August 21, 2009

10 years

A lot can happen in a marriage of 10 years.

Actually, a lot has happened. I won't go into overly boring details, but indulge me just a bit.

We've lived in 7 different residences in 4 different cities.
We've had 3 different beds.
We've worked for 9 different employers combined, not counting freelance work.
We've watched games at 16 different baseball stadiums together.
We've had 7 different cars, and racked up quite a few miles.
We've been to 5 different countries on 2 different continents together.
We've been blessed with 9 nieces and nephews.
Best estimate, we've been in 31 different states together. Some of them will even let us come back.
Our zip codes have decreased every time we've moved to a new one so far.
We've attended 1 funeral together, and at least 7 weddings.
So far, we've had 3 trips to the emergency room, that I can recall anyway.
We have been given the care of 2 wonderful children whom we love very much.


Add it all up, and you get one.

As in, I am one lucky guy.
I am so blessed to be with the one woman I want to spend my life with.
She's the one that makes me want to be my best.


Here's to many more years together, one at a time.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

An Open Letter to Hoboken Residents

Dear Hoboken Residents, Friends, and Neighbors;

Our newly elected mayor has brought shame to our town and to himself. Those that voted for him (not me) placed trust in him to do the job well, without corruption or other methods of self-service. Those that voted and campaigned against him feared that he would do exactly what he is charged of doing by the FBI, i.e. taking bribes from developers in return for favors.

The mayor is now in a position where he is less than a month into his position, and no one will ever trust him to do his job effectively. While he is busy preparing his defense against the Feds, he will be also fighting for what little control this town can't take away from him. He'll be facing an uphill battle with a major distraction (namely trying to avoid jail) clouding his every judgement, his every move.

With these facts in mind, there is no way he can be an effective mayor. If he is convicted, everything he does in office will have to be undone. Even if he isn't convicted, he still leaves a tarnished legacy that should be preemptively shortened.

He is protesting "innocent until proven guilty", which is hypocrisy in the face of his "Zero tolerance" remarks of only last week regarding Hector Claveria's pending bribery charges. Cammarano called for his immediate resignation, and no one can offer up a more convincing argument for Cammarano himself to resign. Apparently he lives by the "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy of life.

Your call to action as residents of Hoboken is to let everyone know that Cammarano should resign. You can do this several ways:

1) Call City Hall and let them know how you feel. They will take messages, but please be nice to the person answering the phones. It's not their fault. Phone number is 201-420-2013.

2) Use Facebook, Myspace, blogs, anything on the Web. There are several websites dedicated to Hoboken (some of higher quality than others). Register and post comments. You can message Peter directly on Facebook, or post on the "Peter Cammarano for Hoboken" group page. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=45005903114

3) Wear your Vote Zimmer shirts around town if you have one. Let people know you didn't vote for a crook.

4) Attend City Council meetings. The dates, times, and locations are posted on the city's website in advance.

5) Be involved, be aware, and be vocal. And when it is time, be sure to cast your vote in the special election that is bound to take place to replace our corrupt mayor.

The sooner we act, the less damage Peter can do while he remains in office. Let your voice, your outrage, your disappointment be heard.


Thanks,

Greg Lincoln

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Duck: A History


The long promised, yet unheralded blog about the duck is finally here. No ribbon cuttings, no parades, no fireworks, please. Any carrying on is done at your own risk.

Once upon a time, there was a boy and his duck. Actually, it started off with just the boy, who happened to like Donald Duck. And be in 4-H (the boy, not Donald).

When I was 13, I wrote an essay on "A Person I Admire" about Donald Duck, and did a reading of it for the 4-H Freeborn County talent show (which was innocently called "Share the Fun"). (Seriously, I just found the essay. It's quite bad.) Needless to say, all I received was the encouragement of my mother and a few polite nods. Undaunted by failure (much like Donald himself), the next year I performed "Sick", a Shel Silverstein poem from Where the Sidewalk Ends, complete with bathrobe and slippers. I must have been encouraged by a few stray chuckles in the crowd, because I wanted to get in the talent show again the next year (1988).

As probably described in another post on this blog, I started talking in a duck-sounding voice sometime in my early teens, mostly as a way to make my poor family members forget that they were upset with me. So, I developed a voice, but didn't have an outlet for it. The details here are a little fuzzy in my mind, I seem to recall being invited to share a talent at a Christmas event for the Sons of Norway...though I'm not quite sure if it actually happened or not (according to an article below, it did). But theoretically that event inspired me to want to find a duck puppet to at least create an act to perform. I'm assuming I had the 4-H talent show in mind as I did so.



I don't remember much about the talent show itself. I remember one of my friends at the time, Jacob Roth, performing in a skit called "Watching All the Girls Go By". I remember that it was held at the high school auditorium, which to me at the time seemed enormous. I remember having to choose a name for my act, which was difficult, and so I finally went with "Nothing Special." (Ah, always self-depreciating, aren't I?) I have no recollection of knowing there were judges, or even a prize for winning. I don't even remember being told that I had won. But apparently I did.


I do vaguely remember going to the Minnesota State Fair that summer, but can't remember any specifics about the performance or how well (or not) it was received. I do remember seeing the sculptures made out of butter though. Quite disturbing.


I performed the duck skit for my 8th grade talent show as well that spring, which seemed to grant me a little bit of celebrity status among my own classmates. (Which at the time, being a scrawny and geeky kid, I needed).

My big launch into stardom (by Albert Lea standards, anyway) really occurred the next year (1989) when I performed in the high school talent show, called "Tiger's Roar" (yes, our mascot was a tiger). Tiger's Roar actually included three separate performances, one for the 9th and 10th graders, one for the 11th and 12th graders (both during the school day), and one open to the nominal-fee paying public. By then, they thought I was pretty good I guess, because I began to get invited to perform at different events in town.

The next year I did Tiger's Roar again, which in my opinion was the lamest performance ever. I think I tried to build a sketch around the big drive to send cookies to soldiers in the Persian Gulf, and the duck wanted some of those cookies or something. Yeah, pretty lame.

However, that didn't stop me from being "recruited" by one of the Ag teachers (yes, Agriculture. It's Minnesota, what can I say?) to join FFA (yep, Future Farmers of America- despite the fact I lived in town, had no livestock, and no desire to be a farmer) and participate in the FFA talent show. 

Well, I did. I won the regional talent show and advanced to the State. I think it was held at the University of Minnesota campus, I don't remember much other than getting to stay in a hotel room and wandering around a lot. I do remember being slightly nervous, at the state level there were some clearly talented people. 

I ended up placing second, and the top two performers went on to participate at the national FFA convention. I'm including the introduction of the text from the newspaper article here (rather than strain your eyes too badly).

"ALBERT LEA- When the lights are dimmed and a hush descends upon the audience of 23,000 at the world's largest annual youth conference this month, a local FFA member will share the spotlight in a performance that will provide memories which will last a lifetime. 

Greg Lincoln, of Albert Lea, will participate in the National FFA Talent Program at the 63rd National FFA  Convention, November 8-10 in Kansas City, MO.  He is a member of the Albert Lea FFA Chapter.  Lincoln, who does a ventriloquism act, placed 2nd at the Minnesota State FFA convention and applied for nationals. "

I went and performed several times, including in a mall, at a luncheon, and on the big stage with a very large audience (still the biggest in my life so far).

Around the same time (1990-91?) another article featuring me appeared in the paper (ah, the good old Albert Lea Tribune).  (Transcriber's note:  Brace yourself - this is a cheesy one!)


ALBERT LEA -- Once upon a time, (three years ago to be exact) a duck was born.  Ducky is white, with a bright orange beak, and sports a clip-on bow tie at festive events.  He speaks a duck language, of course, English with a strong accent.  All of this is perfectly ducky to Greg Lincoln, his ventriloquist. 

Speaking through the right side of his mouth, in "an unexplainable" style, Lincoln created a comical voice.  At family occasions, "whenever something funny seemed appropriate, I'd say it in duck and it would crack them (the family) up," Lincoln said.  "I liked it.  I thought it was funny." 

Ducky emerged soon afterward.  After being asked to perform a comedy routine at the Sons of Norway Christmas party, Lincoln went in search of a puppet with which to work.  A shopping trip to Northbridge Mall found Ducky. 

That first performance was successful for both Lincoln and Ducky, and word of duck spread quickly.  More and more clubs started asking Lincoln to perform for their organizations.  Ducky's appearances include the seventh-grade orientation, 4-H, swing choir, and Albert Lea High School's Tiger's Roar. 

Lincoln makes developing a routine for all the different groups sound easy.  Preparation for performing is usually pretty minimal for Lincoln.  

"Sometimes I like to run through it (the routine), just to make sure I have it pat -- which is never," Lincoln said. 

"Everything pretty much depends on the duck,"  Lincoln claims.  "Basically, I just think of a major theme and make up from there.  It depends on the audience's reaction.  I like audience participation.  That way you're not just watching, you're part of the show."  

"If they really get into it, it's a lot more fun for me and the audience," Lincoln said. 

Lincoln said he enjoyed performing for the Tiger's Roar last  year because of the good reaction that he received from the crowd.  "It was really excellent.  I really got the seniors going (and actively participating)," he added. 

Ducky and Lincoln are planning to show up for Tiger's Roar again this year, performing their comedy act.  In addition, Lincoln is continuing to appear for local organizations.  

"If people keep asking me, I guess I will," he said.  (end of article)

And so I did. Interest eventually waned, on the part of the community and myself. I did Tiger's Roar my junior year (duck supposedly playing 'Great Balls of Fire' on the piano), but not my senior year. (Which may have been the reason I received an A- instead of my usual A in choir. The choir director, Mr. Iverson, was in charge of Tiger's Roar and wasn't happy with my decision to not participate.)

After high school, the duck's activities have been few and far between (some of those already previously blogged about). Now, he's mostly just something for family gatherings and other (usually spontaneous) functions. (See Nico's 3rd birthday, below. Duck is complete with Super Duck cape)


My boys do enjoy it when he comes out to visit though. Maybe, just maybe, one of them will learn to do a duck voice.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

(By Thurman Lincoln, age 8)

I would like to be an inventor when I grow up. First, I would like to be this because I am smart and intelligent. Second because I will make lots of money. Third, because this job uses your brain a lot. Fourth, because I think it will be cool. Fifth, because I would build robots that play with me and stuff like that. Last, I would live in a big white house in Utah so I can put all my robots in it. These are some reasons why I would like to be this.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Hotel life

Living in a hotel requires a few adjustments. A lot of them are easy to adjust to, at least in the short term. It's nice to have clean towels and your bed made every day.

***

This particular stay (at the Hilton Atlanta) I got upgraded to the "Executive Floor". I think this is just a euphemism for "you get to be at the top of the hotel and have longer elevator rides." I also get access to the "Executive Lounge" which has TVs and serves and afternoon snack, neither of which I can condemn.

And actually, the elevator rides are kind of nice if you get an elevator with windows.

***

Hotel beds have way too many pillows. And yet, despite the number of pillows to choose from, I can never find one I really like. In frustration, I threw one to the floor on the opposite side of the bed after deciding it didn't meet my needs. As I did so, all of a sudden this weird light came on in my previously very dark room. It kind of freaked me out for a bit, but then it turned off again.

Curious, I got out of bed to investigate. As I put my feet on the floor, the light appeared on my side of the bed. Apparently, there are little lights installed in the bedside stands that are motion sensitive. So, if you need to get up in the middle of the night, a relatively unobtrusive light comes on automatically to help you out. Genius.

***

I usually only go to two conferences a year. Carma jokes that I treat them like vacations. Which they kind of are, in a sense. I mean, I still go to sessions and stuff, and try to gain insight and knowledge. But I don't try to do something every minute of the day while I'm there. I sleep extra. I read books, watch movies. I explore the town a bit. And I go to restaurants. Hmmm...it does sound kind of like a cruise or something, doesn't it?

***

Room service is a rip off. Even if it's not my money I'm spending, I avoid it like the plague.

Case in point: here, I can get an all-you-can eat breakfast buffet, including drinks for $20 in the restaurant. Not exactly cheap, I know.

However, if I ordered Room Service, for $20 you get the "American breakfast", which is eggs, toast, sausage/bacon, and potatoes. The juice will cost you $6 extra (no refills), and fruit is another $8.

On top of that, they charge you a $4 in-room dining charge, plus a 21% service fee. Plus tax.

So, with tax and tip downstairs I pay $24-25. To eat breakfast in my pajamas (or lack thereof) I would pay $46 to get less. Yeah, I think it's worth $20 to put on my clothes and go get my own food. Even if it is a long elevator ride.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Dinner & a movie (a.k.a. Fork & Screen)

I had the most enjoyable dinner and a movie experience I've had in awhile. This may be more of a product that I hardly ever go out to dinner and a movie on the same night than anything else (at least since Thurman was born). I do wish my kids could have experienced it with me though.

I'm at a conference (AIR) in downtown Atlanta this weekend, which would be much cooler if downtown Atlanta actually had anything interesting to do. (Yes, yes, there's the Coke museum and the aquarium...and lots of hotels and parking garages.) Seriously, Hoboken has more restaurants and things to do than downtown Atlanta.

I learned from the local planners of the conference that more of the "night life" and entertainment are in little suburban clusters around the city. So, having nothing on my schedule after 4:00 today, I decided I'd take the MARTA train out and check out one of them. I ended up party by chance in the suburb of Buckhead, GA- about a 20 minute ride.

My main goal for the evening was to find a movie theater and go to dinner afterwards, and my trusty iPhone found a couple of cinemas in the area. One had kind of a weird name, the AMC Fork & Screen. I figured it must be some kind of local whimsical name or something. It was the nearest to the train station, so I headed over to check it out.

I knew going in that my family was going to see "Up", and a showing of that movie was starting soonest (my other choice, Terminator, was starting at 8:00, too late). So I got a ticket at the outside ticket window and headed inside. I was greeted by an attendant, and saw there was a bar in the movie theater, which seemed a bit odd. The attendant took my ticket, and then handed me a menu, which I must have looked at in a rather blank or confused manner. He asked if I had ever been there before, to which I admitted I hadn't.

The attendant than calmly explained to me the concept of the Fork & Screen...it's eating dinner while watching a movie. As you can imagine, this is a concept I can buy into easily. I like movies, I like dinner. And ever since watching Pulp Fiction (1995), I have fantasized about eating a big sloppy cheeseburger while watching a movie in a theater just like John Travolta's character bragged about doing while in Amsterdam.

Anyway, it was a very pleasant time. The movie was great. The food was good (Fish & Chips, I had a big sloppy burger last night). I even had popcorn for desert. It was great, I even got to fill out a survey afterwards.

So, upon returning to my room I decided to try to find out how many other AMC Fork & Screens there were. Other than Buckhead, GA there appears to be only one...in Olathe, KS (suburb of Kansas City). Which is really kind of sad. I hope they get more so I can recommend them to friends. I can still recommend them I guess, but no one I know gets to Kansas City or Atlanta that often. Well, enjoy it if you can!

----

Separately, I will highly, highly recommend "UP". Just about everything Pixar does is great at minimum, and often achieves movie greatness. "Up" is definitely among the best of the best of the Pixar movies. Do yourself a favor and go see it (with your kids if you have any) in the theater.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Lollipop Guild

There are many things that I will always remember about my wedding day. My beautiful bride-to-be, all my friends and family. How sunny and nice it was (maybe a bit on the warm side, it was August and I was wearing a tux). That I got "my own" chocolate cake.

And of course, the betrayal of my closest friends.

Ok, so that's a bit overboard. It's actually quite funny, and has given us two great stories. The first is "Cake's Day Out", which will have to wait for another time. This is the story of the Lollipops.

Every groom should fully expect to be pranked I guess. I should have been more alert and vigilant. But my friends were sneaky, determined, and feeling very playful I guess.

I expected the car decorations. Everyone does that, it's practically a required part of the marriage ritual. But I did not expect to find all those lollipops in my hotel room.

Rewinding a bit...

The culprits were Travis and Stephanie Noe, Aaron Janssen, Shannon Dyer, and my own little sister Katie (Hamborg at the time). I don't know who's idea it was, but they all played their roles. One of them (Steph, I believe) went into Carma's purse to find our room key. I think I may have told Aaron which hotel we were staying at, clearly without thinking or being suspicious.

However, when the crew arrived at the hotel, they were unable to get the room number from the front desk, much to their frustration. They started to estimate how many hotel rooms there were...it was well over a hundred. Then, walking around the building, they realized there was a whole other wing they hadn't accounted for. The odds were stacked against them, and they didn't have a whole lot of time.

Not wanting to give up, Travis entered the hotel via an end door, and thought to try the key on a few doors on each floor just to see if he would get lucky. He didn't get very far (only three doors tried, I think) before one surprised him and turned green. They had found our room.

So, they put about 50 lollipops everywhere in the room. In the towels, the pillowcases and sheets, and in our suitcase. I must admit here they could have done much worse, for which I'm grateful they didn't.

Later on, they made a "confession" tape describing these events for posterity. I hope I still have that somewhere.

So, Carma and I discovered a bunch of lollipops. The next day we were to have our gift opening, at which would be our friends yearning to know how well the lollipop gig went over (and dying to tell us their story as well). However, we decided to concoct a little tale for them that went something like this:

"You guys will never believe what happened last night! When we got to the hotel (in full wedding garb), they decided to upgrade us their "Honeymoon Suite"! It had a jacuzzi and everything! Very awesome!"

To which they looked rather surprised and taken aback. I could see the thoughts, "Oh no! Someone else will find all the lollipops!" It was great. But then of course I had to let them off the hook.

"Or, I could just tell you instead that we found a crapload of lollipops everywhere."

******

Fortunately, that's not quite the end of the story. You see, Aaron got married a couple years later. Carma and I certainly wanted a shot at revenge, and Aaron knew it. He was very careful not to tell ANYONE where he was staying that night, and took all sorts of precautions.

Which was fine, we were determined, and even better, we knew where he lived. We got his house keys from his brother, and Trav and Steph joined us for a bit of Lollipopping. We had over 100 lollipops, and we spread them all throughout the house. In the closets, in the washing machine, the freezer, garage, couch cushions, and anywhere else that seemed like a good idea at the time. Then in his basement, we filmed "The Denial". With lollipops in our mouths, sitting in his basement, we claimed to the video camera to have had no involvement whatsoever. I'm sure we were convincing.

We returned to the wedding festivities, with lollipops in our mouths. For some reason, this made Aaron nervous and ask "What did you do?" We told him he'd find out soon enough.

I think he was still finding lollipops over a year later. It may have taken Holly awhile to forgive us.